Tag: children mental health

Mindfulness for Kids: Summer 2020

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This week marks the thirteenth of what will be twenty weeks of teaching mindfulness online. Because 2020.

It’s been an exhausting but fascinating journey. Somehow, I’ve learnt enough in the way of video editing skills that I can watch back earlier clips with a mixture of embarrassment (at putting out such low quality content) and pride (at now being able to spot low quality when I see it… and knowing that I can do better.) 

I have zero YouTube plans post-project and no real idea of how this might/might not play out down the line, but I do feel like there’s potential here in terms of teaching and reaching kids. In some ways, I feel like these videos speak their language; like certain techniques and information might make more sense to children in the way they play out on screen as opposed to an adult describing this at the front of the class.

For now though, we’re on summer holiday time in the UK so from Monday 20th July, sessions will be shorter, snappier and geared towards practical activities wherever possible. There’ll be much less of me (the onesie is calling!) and I’m switching from B.E.A.S.T mode sessions to weekly themes as follows:

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I think that in any summer holidays, there’s room for some children’s mood to slide into boredom, worry, insecurity and general negativity. This year, the risk of this seems higher than ever. Therefore, some activities based on kindness, gratitude, mindfulness and confidence-building might be just what the doctor ordered. Click the link below to learn more:

It’s been such a turbulent year. So unsettling. I can’t even wish you a happy summer without hearing at least some sarcasm.

I guess instead I’ll wish you happy, peaceful, mindful moments this summer.

Because that’s all we have, really. The moment right in front of us now.

Starting April 20th, 2020: 100 Days of Child-Friendly Mindfulness (YouTube)

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I’m currently approaching my fifth week of quarantine. Urghhh!

And I’ve been so inspired by the efforts that educators/public figures/everyday folk have gone to throughout this period, supporting children digitally to learn, move and grow at home.

Day-by-day, I’ve been piecing together my own plan – as a children’s wellbeing teacher – to support children’s mental health via an online approach.

Having spent the last fortnight learning the essentials of filming, video editing and the like – a process which made me feel like I had NO BUSINESS teaching anyone about mindfulness – I’m finally ready to unveil my project:

100 Days of Child-Friendly Mindfulness!

Starting Monday 20th April and concluding on September 4th, I will be uploading short, child-friendly mindfulness sessions daily on weekdays. Sessions will be roughly 5 minutes long, offer a little knowledge and one practical strategy, and leave students with a challenge that they can attempt during the day.

Sessions are aimed at children between 7 and 13 but may work well for younger and older children/teens and honestly, this stuff generally works for me as a 36-year old adult.

Videos will be uploaded to my new YouTube – Mindfulness with Miss Steer – by 9a.m. each weekday morning. In the clip below, I introduce the key aspects of the course and hopefully answer any questions you might have:

The purpose of this course overall is to give children strategies that will help them manage their thoughts, feelings, moods and emotions, throughout these unusual circumstances. Children who take part will finish with a toolkit of knowledge, skills and strategies that support emotional intelligence and resilience – a toolkit that will serve them long after this global crisis.

Let me add that I’m deeply reluctant about sharing content online; that the prospect of having my face out there and up for public scrutiny makes me feel vulnerable and afraid. This fear is outweighed however, by the knowledge that there are children around the country, currently missing out on pastoral care and PSHE lessons, at a time when they need it the most.

So I’m determined to step up and do my bit.

Plus, by the time I’ve uploaded 100 clips – I should be pretty great at video editing right?! Either that or single.

Help me to help others by sharing this with your own children, relatives, friends, colleagues and anyone looking to support the mental health of children right now.

Use the hashtag #mindful100 on Twitter and Instagram – I’ll try and reply to as many questions as I can.

 

 

 

Why it’s Important to Teach Children about Habits

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With the dawning of 2020 and the promise and potential of a bright, better decade, many of us now turn our attentions inwards, looking to make changes – to creating a brighter, better version of ourselves.

“New Year. New Me!” I used to declare every January.

Until I got wise to the fact that it wasn’t me that needed to change; just my habits.

“Same Me. Different Habits!”

It took me thirty plus years to learn this lesson – thirty plus years of telling myself that I didn’t measure up; that I wasn’t enough.

I wish I’d learned this sooner. Maybe even, at school?!

That’s why I’m currently champing at the bit to start my new KS2/3 unit based on habits, with a TON of mindfulness mixed in. (Obvs!) 

Over the course of six 45 minute sessions, each class will get to grips with what healthy and unhealthy habits are, where they come from, and of course, how they can go about rewiring the behaviours that aren’t all that helpful into ones that are.

It’s all good stuff in terms of key life-skills. Exercise, diet, sleep and screen-use make quite a few appearances too.

From my perspective though, what really matters is that children learn to separate their habits from their identities. i.e. So you’ve just developed a habit of reacting angrily when things don’t go your way? That doesn’t mean you’re a bad/angry person. It means we need to work on rewiring this habit and replacing it with a calmer, more empowering response.

This message is what Growth Mindset is all about. And it’s pretty vital in terms of self-esteem, confidence, resilience and just plain old coping.

If you’re a teacher/school/trust leader, interested in seeing Jo deliver Wellbeing workshops in your school, call 07719330358 or email jo@skillswithfrills.com to discuss options and availability.

Knowledge Hacks for Happy Kids (and Adults!)

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When it comes to developing emotional intelligence and resilience in children, I’m a big fan of repeated, consistent practice of strategies.

Skills are crucial… but the knowledge that accompanies it is no less so.

In fact, the written techniques that we use in the classroom, the meditation activities and the mindfulness-based activities, are only effective when interlaced with key pieces of knowledge.

Below are four knowledge hacks that I find myself repeating, again and again, with children older and younger: 

Just because a thought comes into your head doesn’t mean it’s true: you might have a thought i.e. “I’m stupid/ugly/pathetic.” and because it’s so negative and cutting, we might listen and take in this thought, not stopping to question whether it’s trustworthy or reliable or helpful. As I tell the students, I might have a thought that I’ll tap-dance through the school canteen, wearing a onesie… but I’m probably not going to do that and this clearly isn’t a reliable, trustworthy or helpful thought. It’s useful to make comparisons like this, so that we can see that we do have some choice in terms of which thoughts we listen to, and which we ignore.

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Switching your ‘I’s’ to ‘there’s’ can disarm negative thoughts: when we practice mindfulness, we strive to watch our thoughts from a distance. Let’s say we’re trying a ‘3 Minute Breathing Space’, noticing the weather in our mind in the same way that one might turn on a TV and just notice what channel is playing. Language plays an important role here in reinforcing that distance. Let’s say, for example, a child is feeling very angry. Rather than saying, “I’m angry,” they instead simply notice the thoughts/feelings and say, “there’s worry”. This small change can really loosen the grip that uncomfortable feelings have on us – it’s the difference between being in a thunderstorm and watching one.  

It’s not the situation that’s to blame, it’s all about the Vicious Cycle: learning about how your thoughts/mindset feed into your feelings and behaviour is a real #gamechanger as far as I’m concerned. It’s incredibly empowering to know that even when things seem bleak and out of your control, you can still make a choice to see things from another angle; to alter the pictures in your mind; to adjust your body language; to just breathe. You can ride the waves, no matter how high or choppy.

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Happiness is something you can find in small moments, daily: trapped on the hedonic treadmill, always waiting to have more likes and followers, the latest device or game, and the backside of an ‘influencer,’ many kids in junior and secondary schools cultivate daily unhappiness. Teaching kids about this concept allows them to recognise where they’re chasing happiness in all the wrong places. Furthermore, giving them a basic knowledge of mindfulness and gratitude, allows them to take note of the small, ordinary and wonderful ways in which we can find and create happiness each and every day. 

Share these hacks with your students and/or children. If nothing else, it might help them to make a little more sense of their own mind.

Tidy up your Mind with some Thoughts Decluttering

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In my latest TES article, I shared child-friendly strategies that could be just as effective for adults as for children.

Below is an excerpt from the article – with extras! – which breaks down one of my favourite CBT-based strategies for dealing with unhelpful thoughts. I’ve included screenshots so that you can see how easy it is to put this into practice as a teacher, parent or individual.

Ask yourself: “Am I hoarding thoughts?”

From What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kids’ Guide to Overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner (2007).

Huebner’s book offers up an analogy that I’ve used countless times when teaching mindfulness to children: she invites children to think of all the dustbins that are positioned throughout their homes and to imagine what would happen if nothing was ever thrown out –  if empty crisp packets, yogurt cartons and toilet roll tubes were all valued and saved.

Of course, this paints an unpleasant image of a house in a state of chaos, in which every simple journey is hindered by the sheer amount of “stuff” we are clinging on to.

Huebner suggests that our brains are like our homes: when thoughts come in, we have to decide which ones are worth saving and which ones are fit for the bin.

When I introduce this in class, I ask children to write down six thoughts that have popped into their head that day and we often spend a couple of minutes in silence, allowing the thoughts to come in to our minds. Then, we go through them, deciding what we need and what we don’t, practising with my example as a class beforehand.

The picture above demonstrates just how simple yet effective an activity like this can be. We look over the thoughts in pairs and decide if they’re useful, reliable, helpful or necessary, moving them into the save or bin pile appropriately. Please note that in other examples, we might also use a third bucket, for thoughts we wish to ‘shelve’ for later i.e. I need to remember that I’m going to Grandma’s tonight and we’re having Fish ‘n’ Chips… but not in the middle of my literacy lesson.

I really don’t think that I can emphasize enough how powerful, meaningful and potentially life-changing having a conversation about thoughts can be.

Negative thoughts feed and grow in secrecy and isolation. Therefore, simply in having a conversation about the way we think – including those occasional negative, useless and really unpleasant thoughts – immediately takes some of the power away. Revealing too that thoughts are not all true or useful, and so needn’t always be acted upon or kept hold of, is an incredibly empowering piece of knowledge.

This is a great exercise for adults too. Don’t believe me? Try it! Take a few minutes now to write down your thoughts as a list, then go through and decide what’s worth keeping and what just isn’t.

If you have problems with negative brain-chatter, developing a habit like this could really change your outlook on life and the roles you play within it.

We can’t control the thoughts that come into our heads, but we can control what we keep hold of. Learn to notice your thoughts and discriminate between what’s useful and useless. Do this and you’ll become the master of your thoughts, rather than their servant.

3 ‘Quick-Wins’ to try with your Anxious Child (or Self) Today!

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If there can be any positive side effects to the current mental health epidemic, it’s that the topic of wellbeing has finally moved up the agenda. With this, we’ve seen an explosion in campaigns, resources, books and guidance, all aimed at helping you to help yourself, or your child to become happier.

Brilliant? Yes. But overwhelming? Also yes. Especially when mental health problems like  anxiety add an element of desperation to your solution-seeking.

If you’re looking for quick, simple and effective ‘quick wins’, here’s three child and adult-friendly activities that you can put in place today: 

  1. Write down three things you’re grateful for each day: Developing a ‘Gratitude Attitude’ is a key step in overcoming the minds’ natural bias towards negativity. When you’re genuinely feeling thankful for all you have, it’s very difficult to feel negative emotions like bitterness, sadness, hatred, anxiety and so on.

    Writing down what you’re grateful for reinforces this positive focus. If you’re super keen, you can extend this, writing down three things you’re thankful for in the morning and three great things/moments you experienced before bed.

    If you’re trying this out with a child, be aware that they might find this tough at first and may need lots of prompts to consider things that they’re perhaps taking for granted. Like anything else, the more you practice, the easier it gets.

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  2. Develop a routine of Mindful Eating: Mindful eating is always a favourite, with both adults and kids. If you haven’t tried it before, here’s a Mindful Eating Script to start you off.

    Develop a routine of slow-motion eating at one meal or snack-time, working to your family routine. It doesn’t need to be something that lasts for a whole meal. In fact, it may only be something you try for the first bite or two of your evening meal. But the key is to explore your senses with curiosity. Get out of your head, or the TV, and smell, taste, touch, look and feel your food, in the present moment.

    That’s some delicious headspace right there!

  3. Create an Anchor: 

    An anchor is something that you or your child can use as a reminder to come back into the present moment and be mindful. It might be a chair you sit in daily, a picture hanging on the wall or even a sound that rings from your phone. Essentially, it doesn’t matter what it is, only that it’s something that you’ll encounter often enough for it to be meaningful.If you use a chair, for example, then whenever you sit on the chair… you should take a moment to explore how your body is feeling, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head; to notice your breathing patterns and where you feel them in your body; to consider any sensations and tension that lie in the body.

    There’s a lot of freedom here in terms of what you choose to be your anchor and how you use it. Just be aware that as with the other two activities, it’s about building up those neural connections through consistent practice.

Make mindfulness and gratitude part of your daily routine and you might just find that you automatically go into the present moment more often; fostering feelings of calm, comfortable, awareness and acceptance.

‘Emotional Athletes’: Emotional Intelligence & Resilience in the Classroom

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‘Emotional Athletes’ is the latest wellbeing-based Learning Experience, geared towards developing emotional intelligence and practical strategies for resilience in students.

Of course, I’m completely biased, because these days are like babies to me – but it’s an awesome day.

Information and activities throughout the day are routed in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Mindfulness, child-friendly Neuroscience, Growth Mindset and Positive Psychology. There’s even a bit of Yoga thrown in!

Here’s what we’ll cover:

We begin the day by considering what it means to be ’emotionally athletic’, considering how and why it might be useful to understand where our thoughts and feelings come from. Using Dr. Dan Seigel’s child-friendly ‘Hand Model’ of the brain, we learn about how different parts of the brain work together, as well as what happens scientifically when we ‘flip our lid’ and become overwhelmed with emotion.

Morning activities involve engaging clips, quizzes, speaking and listening tasks and role play. There’s a small amount of writing as children are asked to think back to their own positive and negative feelings, considering how these emotions presented themselves in their bodies and thoughts.

As a class, we look at the 5 Part Model (CBT) of thoughts, feelings, behaviour and reactions, in any given situation, as well as considering the things in life that we can and cannot control.

Children are taught to take control of what they can in emotional situations; their breath, relationship with their thoughts and their attention overall. Mindfulness-based activities and meditations, sprinkled through the day, give them a chance to put this into practice.

In the afternoon, we focus on building our emotional resilience. Children move from table to table, trying out a variety of tasks in groups, aimed at either maintaining daily happiness or bouncing back from negative thoughts or emotions.

At the end of this action-packed day, children create their own origami fortune tellers, labelled with their favourite techniques from the day. This becomes a self-supporting tool that they can use independently the next time negative thoughts and emotions creep in.

Like I said, it’s an awesome day!

Jo Steer is an experienced teacher in primary, secondary, SEND and life skills-based education. She is also trained in Mindfulness and Yoga for children, and CBT (APT level 2).

If you’d like her to deliver this particular package or something similar in your school, call 07719330358 or email jo@skillswithfrills.com to discuss ways forward.

Swap your Supply Cover for a Team-tastic day instead!

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Having always been a firm advocate of structured teamwork and social skills in the classroom, I’ve been eager for a while now to throw some teamwork into the Skills with Frills mix.

So here it is… a ‘Team-Tastic’ day!

This super-engaging day is suitable for KS2 students, though as always, it’s easily adapted for children lower down school or further up. Throughout the day, students take on a series of team-based games and challenges, geared towards refining the collaborative social skills they already have. We look at examples of effective and ineffective teamwork, with the aid of video clips and music, picking apart the basics of what good collaboration actually looks like. We also explore specific team problem scenarios, discussing and developing strategies based on conflict resolution.

Self and team-reflection is woven into the fabric of the lesson to ensure that students really consider their own strengths and areas for improvement, whilst having a great time.

Activities in this day incorporate a range of cross-curricular skills like persuasive writing, speaking and listening, art and design. There’s a great mix of speaking, listening, writing, drawing and practical tasks – and of course, some friendly competition between teams.

Alongside this, students have plenty of opportunities to gain confidence when speaking in pairs, groups and as teams, in front of the whole class. We take a ‘mindful approach’ to teamwork, structuring and scaffolding activities in a way which allows for all students to safely contribute and participate in group tasks.

Whilst this may just look like fun and games, by digging further into what teamwork really is (and why we need it), it’s my hope that students come to reflect on their own team attitude and social interactions in the future.

To read more about Jo’s inclusive approach to teamwork, see this 2018 article from Optimus ‘Special Children’ magazine.

Looking to book? Still have questions? Call 07719330358 or email jo@skillswithfrills.com

Top 5 Resources to Support Children, Teens and Adults with Social Anxiety

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Sadly, ‘Social Anxiety’ is a term that many of us are increasingly familiar with, whether this relates to our children, our workmates, celebrities or ourselves.

It’s a problematic issue, partly due to the fact that a good many people doubt its existence. It’s just another label; an excuse to ‘wimp out’ of life’s challenges. “I was shy at school!” they said, “They should just get on with it!”

As a sufferer myself, let me tell you that there’s a big difference between feeling anxious as you speak in front of others (the kind of anxiety that we’re meant to feel when we do something new/exciting/challenging/frightening) and feeling such a range of panic-like anxiety symptoms, that it eats away at your heart, soul and self-esteem every day. Telling someone like this to “get on with it” is like telling someone with clinical depression to “cheer up.”

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What can work, however, is a structured, CBT-style approach, that allows you to unpick the thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that you’ve consciously or unconsciously been participating in. I’ve battled this condition for a good part of the last 20 plus years, but for the last 8 years or so, I’ve been the manager rather than the employee.

If you’re struggling with Social Anxiety, or wish to support a child, teen or adult who is, take a look at some of the free or affordable resources that have helped me along the way:

  1. NHS Northumberland’s website has some incredible resources relating to all aspects of mental health. This free Social Anxiety workbook goes through the steps that a CBT practitioner would also approach. This is really invaluable for children, teens and adults.
  2. Another fantastic freebie from the NHS, this time from NHS Scotland, this Moodjuice Self-help guide for Shyness and Social Anxiety will offer CBT-style structured support for those in need. I’ve shared this with anxious high-schoolers in the past, who reported good results after working through this independently at home.
  3. Janet Espositos’, ‘In the Spotlight’ will teach you that you’re not alone, whilst also giving you strategies to support you in making positive change. Though this is more suited to adults, the activities and strategies in here would work for a parent and child working through this together. I read this book a day after my 26th birthday, 8 years ago, and while I know it’s a huge clique, it really did change my life.
  4. When you’re coping with Social Anxiety, the world can often feel like a very lonely place. Make it a little less lonely by connecting with others going through the similar things. Social Anxiety UK have a great forum that allows you to listen to others sharing their experiences and advice, as well as sharing yours if you wish. The site is restricted to children aged 13+ with certain areas within being limited to 16+. Parents – It is moderated and there are rules to follow, though you may wish to monitor this yourself too if you’re concerned about your child using this site.
  5. There are so many awesome TED talks linked to building confidence and self-belief, as well as talks related to general and specific anxieties and mental health conditions. But that’s a list for another day… For now, I’ll leave you with my absolute favourite, Amy Cuddy’s talk on body language. It’s inspiring, moving and will give you to practical strategies for the next time you’re feeling those nervous butterflies.

These talks and resources are no substitute for actual medical help and if you’re suffering, you should contact your local GP.

Unfortunately, a lot of adults and children, find that when they do seek help, they’re place on a rather long waiting list, becoming increasingly desperate and feeling hopeless. If this is the case, these resources might just offer you (or your child) support, guidance and comfort as you wait.

 

Head full of worries? Try this for instant calm!

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A super quick read today, combined with a super quick, easy and effective trick to help you, or your child, feel immediately better when you’re stuck in a ‘worry loop.’

Take a look at this awesome freebie, the ‘Circle of Control’or even better, just grab a pen and a note pad and create your own! No need for it to be fancy!

Feeling overwhelmed and anxious can be incredibly exhausting emotionally. And it’s often completely pointless, because so much of what we worry about isn’t even in the realms of our control. We just need reminding of this sometimes.

Complete the sheet – again by yourself of with your child if you’re trying to support them – and decide what things you can control, and what you can’t. Take a look at this example of what a child might fill in here:

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See? Super quick but very powerful.

If the worries you’re having have elements that you can control, then take whatever small or big action you can to make that inner-worrier quieten down a little.

More often that not though, we give ourselves anxiety headaches about things that we are completely powerless to change; mostly always things that never even happen! When this happens and your mind is repeatedly drawn back to this useless worry, look at this sheet again, remembering that you cannot control this. And maybe switch your attention to something that you can control, like the breath.

The more you practise this, the less you’ll worry! 🙂

Are you a teacher, school leader or parent in Yorkshire, looking to get ‘healthy mind’ strategies like the one above in your school? See skillswithfrills.com to learn more about the Mindfulness/Wellbeing workshops/days that we offer. Alternatively, contact Jo on 07719330358, skillswithfrills@gmail.com or through our Facebook page to find out more!